Why Have Kids?

Most of the time, there is a reason behind every choice we make. We may choose certain career path because it aligns with our financial and life objectives. Or we may prefer certain cars over others because we may find that they are big enough to fit all our family members. But ever wondered, “why have kids?” Perhaps they are cute, but does that justify the huge trade-offs required?

First of all, having kids is expensive. From the start, the pregnancy costs can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000. After the child is born, essentials like diapers, milk, clothes, cot, lotions, toys, strollers, confinement services, the occasional visit to the pediatrician, birthday parties, childcare fee, milk bottles, etc. will easily cost more than $20,000. Augment this financial cost to the inevitable stress, fatigue, and sleep deprivations, it is easy to see why having kids shouldn’t just be an act of impulse.

Having kids is indeed financially, mentally, and physically taxing. But why do we still have kids? Wouldn’t it be better if we preserve our time, money, and energy for ourselves? To pursue our dream. To travel the world. Or to invest in our own future. After all, it’s not as if we all have infinite resources and time on this planet to pursue every desire we have, do we?

Society

We all live in a society and it is unavoidable for us to avoid the norms of it. Having kids after having a career and gotten married is what is naturally expected of us. For us to not oblige to this expectation will only subject ourselves to the unescapable fate of eternal condemnation.

Nature

In the jungle, the animals risk their lives to fight for the rights to reproduce. Aren’t we the same, albeit in a more civilized manner? I believe that we all are embedded with an innate urge to past down our genes to ensure the the world and the universe keep going.

Companionship

Some people have children simply for companionship. As a parent, I can attest that the happiest moments in my life are attributed to my child. Many Asian people believe that it is a blessing to be able to have many children to look after them when they have grown old. However, this belief will only materialize if the children are well brought up and inculcated with the virtues of filial piety.

There can be many other reasons as to why we have kids. However, it is important to realize that the decision should be based solely on both our and our partner’s considerations. As much as possible, we should not have kids simply to conform to ‘society guidelines’.

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3 Things To Do On Vesak Day

Image by Good Vibes – Binaural Beats

Vesak Day is a day where people all over the world commemorate Buddhism. Here’s 3 things we can do on this very special day.

Eat Compassionately

Vesak Day is a great day to practise compassionate eating, choosing to eat without the needs of the pain and sufferings of other beings. Vegetarian and vegan meals are ideal options for us to eat compassionately.

Give

The greatest act of a man is to give. When we give, we are also giving ourselves a chance at greatness. This opens the door for us to abundance. Some of the stuff we can give are money, food, time, our strength, and even our attention.

Let Go

In Buddhism, attachments are sufferings. And to learn to let go is to also let go of these sufferings. This is somewhat similar to the essence of minimalism, which is to let go of the unnecessary things in our lives, to make space for what truly matters.

The 3 Arieses In My Life (And How I Survived Them)

Arieses are famous (or rather, infamous) for being demanding and short-tempered. But not many people realize that on the other hand, they are also fiercely protective of the people they love and they are the ones who you know that you can always count on.

My Mum

My mum is the perfect example of an Aries, who also happens to be a perfectionist. She will be able to spot a speck of dust on any priceless painting and deem it flawed. Because of this, I must admit that growing up under her constant high expectations was very stressful. But one thing for sure, is that I am aware, and extremely grateful for all the sacrifices she has made. Always worrying if we have enough and making sure that we only have the best.

My Wife

I often ask myself what have I done in my previous life to deserve such an amazing woman in my life. As the saying goes,“behind every successful man, there’s a woman.” This can’t be any truer. I always believe that love is not just about loving someone for their goods, but more importantly, also being able to accept those not-so-desirable characteristics in them. And for that, I am so blessed and grateful to have someone like her. Like most, we have experienced our fair share of challenges. But everytime, our relationship became even stronger. For all the dedication she has given to me and to our family, she has never once complained. It’s been seven years since we first held our hands, and my love and admiration for her today is stronger than ever.

My Son

To be honest, when our obstetrician revealed the estimated date of delivery of our baby to us, the first thing that came to my mind was, “Man, another Aries?” Even at a few months old, the notorious Aries traits were already evident in him. However, all the exasperations were immediately forgotten once he flashes those cheeky, but endearing, grins. Everyday has truly been a blessing since the day he was born and I am so thankful for that.

I am always conscious about being grateful for having the lovely people in my life. Here’s my humble two cents. Always elevate ourselves above the petty squabbles and conflicts. Tolerate, resolve, or even walk away if necessary. We must keep in mind that the people who are closest to us will not be with us forever. Everyday, our time spent together becomes lesser and lesser. And it is when the time comes where we lose them then we will only start to miss them, and wished we had cherished them a little harder when they were still around.

And with that, I wish all beautiful mothers around the world, a Happy Mothers’ Day!

Minimalism Is Like Hiking

When we go hiking, there are some essential items that we will need to bring along, such as water, torchlight, gloves, and some chocolate bars. However, it is also important that we bring only what is required. This is because if we carry too much excess, our bags will become too heavy.

For example, if our hiking trip requires just a couple of litres of water, it is obvious that carrying ten litres would simply be excessive. The excess weight will not only slow us down, it’ll cause unnecessary fatigue and negatively affect our hiking experience.

This may prevent us from reaching the top of the mountain in time to catch the amazing sunrise. You wouldn’t want to miss the sunrise, would you?

I am a Billionaire

I could still remember it was one of those sleepless nights, when my son was just a few days old, enjoying his suckle while ensuring that both my wife and I were awake to keep him company.

As we gazed and admired how mesmerizing our little one was, I asked my wife a question,”If someone were to offer you a million dollars in exchange for our baby, would you accept?” “No.”, she replied immediately. “What about a billion dollars?” I asked again. She replied,” I will not exchange him for anything in the world.” At that moment, I realized how rich I actually was. I was even richer than a billionaire.

Sometimes, our wealth and fortune come in different forms. What we have always desired and the things we spend our entire life chasing after, might actually already be in our hands.

About

As we grow in life, our stuff grows with us too. As time passes, some of these stuff remains important. But for most, they simply became clutter. And as we unknowingly accumulate these clutter, we also begin to accumulate the excessive stress and burden that comes along with it.

Minimalism is to get rid of the unnecessary things in our lives, to make space for the things that truly matter to us.

Our capacities are limited. But we should also realize that we all have a choice of what we want to allow into our precious space, and more importantly, our precious lives.