Most of the time, there is a reason behind every choice we make. We may choose certain career path because it aligns with our financial and life objectives. Or we may prefer certain cars over others because we may find that they are big enough to fit all our family members. But ever wondered, “why have kids?” Perhaps they are cute, but does that justify the huge trade-offs required?
First of all, having kids is expensive. From the start, the pregnancy costs can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000. After the child is born, essentials like diapers, milk, clothes, cot, lotions, toys, strollers, confinement services, the occasional visit to the pediatrician, birthday parties, childcare fee, milk bottles, etc. will easily cost more than $20,000. Augment this financial cost to the inevitable stress, fatigue, and sleep deprivations, it is easy to see why having kids shouldn’t just be an act of impulse.
Having kids is indeed financially, mentally, and physically taxing. But why do we still have kids? Wouldn’t it be better if we preserve our time, money, and energy for ourselves? To pursue our dream. To travel the world. Or to invest in our own future. After all, it’s not as if we all have infinite resources and time on this planet to pursue every desire we have, do we?
We all live in a society and it is unavoidable for us to avoid the norms of it. Having kids after having a career and gotten married is what is naturally expected of us. For us to not oblige to this expectation will only subject ourselves to the unescapable fate of eternal condemnation.
In the jungle, the animals risk their lives to fight for the rights to reproduce. Aren’t we the same, albeit in a more civilized manner? I believe that we all are embedded with an innate urge to past down our genes to ensure the the world and the universe keep going.
Some people have children simply for companionship. As a parent, I can attest that the happiest moments in my life are attributed to my child. Many Asian people believe that it is a blessing to be able to have many children to look after them when they have grown old. However, this belief will only materialize if the children are well brought up and inculcated with the virtues of filial piety.
There can be many other reasons as to why we have kids. However, it is important to realize that the decision should be based solely on both our and our partner’s considerations. As much as possible, we should not have kids simply to conform to ‘society guidelines’.